Blog Post: Traits of Good Management.

Traits of Good Management... What we Learned From our Marriage!

Jaden and I are both very motivated people. We spend our quality time together helping each other with various side projects we are working on. Recently, Jaden’s side project has turned into a business! I fully support this business Jaden is starting, and we both decided to invest everything we have into it. If any of you have ever created a web application, you know that it takes a ton of development. You also will find out that development talent is expensive to hire!

Well since we are both developers, the most financially smart decision we could make to fully invest in this startup, was for me to also work on the platform under Jaden. I can work for free, and he will have to hire one less person (which would be paid for out of our incomes). It was an uncomfortable struggle to change our relationship from a couple, to a manager- employee relationship. We had to learn to give each other criticism in new ways, and create new boundaries. After a few months of tears and frustration, we finally got into a rhythm, and wow have we been able to build incredible things together!

Over the summer, we re-built Jaden’s platform. An entire 2-sided marketplace application in just few months. The entire platform was built by just the two of us (plus an occasional other students we would hire) working together after our day jobs and in between summer activities. A couple hundred commits later, and we have a working MVP.

I have been trying to understand how Jaden and I got to a point where we work together so successfully. It can’t just be that we can make out whenever we get frustrated. There has to be a way to replicate what we have in business relationship, to a typical work environment.

Although we are still growing, learning, and adapting to our work habits both together and apart, I have been able to pick out a few reasons why we can work together so successfully. Situations that can be brought into that typical manager-employee relationship.

Jaden is the boss. End of story. It’s his business, he is more experienced and a better engineer. I am not discounting my place at all, I bring my talents to the table. It was important for Jaden and I to establish our roles when working together. This leadership establishment works in both of our favors, Jaden gets to maintain control over his company, and I get to ask all the questions I want. Jaden has to solve the hard problems, while I get to go and browse Instagram when my Jira tasks are done.

Don’t get confused, I definitely wear the pants in the relationship, but when it comes to coding, Jaden is a much better engineer and has 8+ more years under his belt than I do. So when it comes to work, he is to boss.

How many managers do you know who hire people exactly like them? Same personality, same skills, vision, and strengths? It happens far too often, and in my opinion, that limits a team of coders. Jaden and I could not be more different with how we think. If he was a dog, I’d be a cat. Opposites attract right? Jaden is very detail oriented and thinks through all parts of a problem. He get stuck in the details, and can spend more time solving the itty bitty problems than the real problem at hand.

I am a big picture person, details evade me. I forget to initiate variables. I spend 99% of my time debugging by looking for typos. The number of times I have spent hours debugging code just to realize that I have the wrong number of equal signs in my if statement, would make you cry. In our professional interactions, what would alone be weaknesses, we can make into our strengths. When I am missing a logic operation, I know I can show Jaden a screenshot of the code, and he will find it in a second. When Jaden has a large task at hand, he can delegate that task to me without explaining how to build it, and trust it will come together.

Everyone has experienced feeling like we are incapable of something. That we somehow faked our way into a job, and now we are in way over our head. We can’t do the task we were hired to do, despite past proven successes. This is called Imposter Syndrome. 70% of U.S. workers have experienced imposter syndrome, it’s common

There is nothing like living with someone for a few years to really let you understand someone and their capabilities. I know that Jaden, my manager when it comes to coding, knows who I am. He knows my strengths, weaknesses, and coding style. When he tells me that I can learn react in a week, and be proficient in 6 weeks, Although I want to cry at the thought, I believe him. When he tells me to try out a certain framework because it fits my coding style, I know that it will help me out. I don’t ever feel like an imposter or unable to perform a challenge he gives me. I have complete trust in how well he knows my skills and capabilities. Don’t misunderstand, I still get frustrated, and spent 2 days crying when trying to implement react. The learning curve and frustrations don’t go away, that will always be there. Instead, in our relationship, Jaden and I have come to know each other well enough that we know what to expect from each other.

As much as we all wish that every day was an on day, it’s not. Let’s be honest, as much as we all wish that every week is an on week, where we are productive and are able to get everything done, that is not the case. There are weeks when mental health, and outside circumstances get in the way of what we can and want to do at work. There have been weeks when Jaden is so burnt out from coding at his day job, that he doesn’t want to come home and code. When it’s finals week, I don’t put in any hours in the business. We can’t let the business slide, so we have to help each other out. We pick up each others Jira tasks, and make sure the sprint is complete. We help each other out, because well we are playing for the same team. We don’t ever think, “That’s not part of my job”, or “If he is getting paid more than me, why should I do any more work?” or “This is above my pay grade”. We both know that if each other succeeds, we succeed. It’s not a competition for raises or bonuses.

That’s it! Those 4 things are what I feel make it possible for Jaden and I to work together. These things really just reflect Jaden management style to all of his employees, and why working underneath him is so easy and smooth, even if you aren’t married.